A good speech is not about clever lines. It is about the person you are speaking about, and saying one or two things that are true. Whether it is a best man speech, a birthday toast, or a farewell at work, the same simple shape does most of the heavy lifting.
Start with who it is for, not with you
The most common opening mistake is starting with yourself: “for those who do not know me, I am ...”. Get to the person quickly instead. Who are they to you, and why does this moment matter? The room came to celebrate them, so point the light at them from the very first line.
The shape that works for almost any speech
Nearly every good speech, from a wedding to a retirement do, follows the same four beats:
- An opening that gets the room with you: a warm line, or a gentle, kind laugh.
- One or two real stories. Specific always beats general. One true story about them lands harder than three vague compliments.
- A turn toward genuine warmth: what they mean to you, and to the people in the room.
- A close, and a toast where it fits: “please raise your glasses to ...”.
You do not need more than that. A short speech that hits these beats will always beat a long one that wanders.
Write it for the ear, not the page
A speech is heard once, not read on paper. So keep the sentences short and easy to say out loud. Read it aloud as you write, and time it on a clock. If you stumble over a line, rewrite it the way you would actually say it. Contractions are your friend here: when you speak a line, “he is” naturally becomes “he’s”, and that is exactly how it should sound.
Common mistakes
- Inside jokes only three people understand. If the whole room cannot follow it, cut it.
- A roast that goes too far. Every joke should be one the person would laugh at too, not one they would dread.
- Inventing a story to fill a gap. If you are short on material, leave a [placeholder] and go and ask someone, rather than making something up.
- Running long. Nobody has ever wished a wedding speech had gone on for longer.